I love/Loved, hmm hold on no i know I Love You

In my deepest hour and my darkest times will you be there? 

this is a question we all like to ask n we all like answer saying 
Yes i will be there. 
but how many of us are ever really there at that time? 

it's easy to say i love you, even easier to say i care 
so then why is it so hard to say i'm sorry when it can save a tear? 
the song says "no more i love you..." but can we really do so? 
is it really that easy to say no more i love you. and if not is it because it became 
more of a habit than how we actually feel? 

i have always said i am not saying i love you till i know i do. 
now i stop to think about how the hell do i know when i really do. 
is it because u give me this feeling inside that says i do 
or is it because i can not go a day without thinking of you, 
is it because when i think of u there is this inexpiable feeling inside my chest? 
I wonder. 

sometimes we say i love you, and we never really question if it's true. i never really liked 
questioning certain things because then i will find all kind of excuses to say other wise, 
however when i stop n look at it despite all the arguments and quarrels 
and i look back i really do love you.

Ramblings of a pissed off teacher

Mek mi si if mi get this straight, teachers were not being paid on par with the rest of the civil servants, then they gave us a raise that was due based on the MOU. So now we finally being paid wat we were to, n every baddi bex. hmmmm! Oh yeah mi figet by u adding that 60% increase Mr. Shaw, it means that u the Gov will be getting more out of our pay as income tax because of the PAYE system so the more u gi mi is the more u tek back. Then u raise taxes, add extra taxes so now the lil money that you 'gave us' no really mek much difference when u reason it out. But oh yeah we are ungrateful. 

Then the parents, oh how could i forget the parents, whom sees us trying to get matters resolved as being stupid, craven n yes i have heard you guys dem ungrateful. WHY? because they had to keep their own children for 2 days so that the teachers could do some industrial actions. Interesting, very interesting. 

And this then begs me to question, how is it that when police or nurses are to strike not saying that it that much more effective, but the Gov, jumps around more briskly it appears so as to resolve that than for the teachers. Is it that you can sacrifice the children and their education or is it that it is easier to put that blame on teachers because you know that the parents (well some) are always ready to back you once it is against us? hmmm? If anyone was to have escaped or anything like that while the police 
were on strike you would be held accountable in so many eyes. But 'hey the teacha dem can tek it man.' Trust mi it is sickening, but then again who will listen to the teachers? yeah i figured it out, only our fellow teachers. 

Parents have been heard asking teachers if they are having summer classes b4, upon hearing no I personally have heard the comments, "so waa wi fi duh wid dem?", "So a kill u a sen dem come wi off?" 

Teacher has his/her own kids, family life, school work that is taken home in most cases because the school hour doesn't allows, yet u get no over time. personal issues, financial issues but MUST be composed, almost robot like to take orders n give no opinions. 

To the Nation of Jamaica I Thank you all!!!

Tonite

Twisting, turning, restless

I have been wrestling with these thoughts and feelings

I have been longing for comfort and peace

I have been haunted n taunted 

But still it evades me.

Love has been MIA for quite sometime now.

closeness and companionship has been something to dream of

"Ice box" for a heart has been comforting

yet not complete.

I have heard talks of butterflies

Yet, I Yearn for such ecstatic emotions.

Heart fluttering, OBE (out of body experience)

Tingles and gitters

Will I ever have another shot at the ever elusive 

Ever evasive, yet predominantly spoken of

Love!?

Well if i do or if i don't 

1 thing i know, 

Is, as i lay here Tonite

As i stay awake trying to ponder 

As i wonder

Trying to feel like i am some wiz

I am sure of 1 thing.

i know nothing!!!

YOU

Had my guard up like the Laker's defense, had my snipers perched on the roofs taking aim at hearts as they made sure no one came close to mine. Like a ninja with a blanket of night's cover guarding his presence, you found a way to slip through the cracks and found yourself prying at my locks. Like a great lock smith u had my shit open exposing my most prized possession, invading my thoughts, wrapping urself around my core. Intertwining yourself among my network of veins, seeping into my blood stream!!! 

Damn you are good, i never knew how good it felt till you rescued me.
Never realized how much was missing till u held me in ur arms watching me sleep.
Never knew i was not alive though i was breathing. 

Many have tried,
Many have fallen victims
Many have claimed their worth
As a many have been proven futile.

So how did I get so lucky you ask.
With a smirk all I could say was;

It was meant to be You

What's My Name

Fragile

Frail

breakable

glass-like

Hard to attain

Even more difficult to mend

Easily lost

Slips like butter on a knife in the summer in the Sahara

Has the ability to slide through your fingers like a greased up monkey

Beautiful

Glorious

Splendid

Treasured

Needed

Adored

Admired

Respected

Cherished

Loved

Without it nothing makes sense

Love thrives on it

Business demands it

even the preacher requires it

It has only 5 letters that without each other has a different meaning

But yet when together mean so damn much

T R U S T

Saying Goodbye (By T. D. Jakes)

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you.
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship........
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ..........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
'The Battle is the Lord's!'

Thank you

I never really believed in destiny till I met you
I never believed in coincidence, either so it must be true
Giddy is the feeling that I am feeling inside now as I write
A smile, like none I have had in a while.
I was hurting and u brought me peace
I was tormented and you set me free
I was hungry for life and you made me realize I should live
I was angry and u calmed my soul
I was bent of vengeance and you stared be straight
I was lost and you shined your lite for me.

What you have done in 1 nite I have been trying for days if not weeks
Where I am now with myself is where I wanted to be earlier
But as u always said everything happens for a reason.
This I now know is true.
How is it possible to feel like I feel when I feel what I feel when I see you.
How can you not feel like you feel when you have felt nothing like you are feeling
Girl you know it’s true, so I thank you!

Girl vs Woman (copied)

Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls want to control the man in their life..

Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls yell at you for not calling them.

Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it¿using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.

Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls try and make you come home.

Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolies all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the together time even more special and goes out with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.

Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue and respect they did.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.

Grown women know that sometimes the one's you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.

Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends

Watching you sleep, on a lazy Saturday Morning

I sat by ur bed side watching you sleep (irony of modern tech)
wishing n praying that all the world could be at peace
they say angels walk among us, but never had i taken the time 2 c.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
but looking at u sleep it must mean there will be many beholding u
for no one can say that you are not truely beautiful.

The picture of you sleeping is one of peace n tranquility
calm surrender that fills my soul causing my chest to expand
truth is something that seems so hard to come by
trust is even more rare
friendship has been an illusive dream

But sitting here by ur bed watching as u sleep they all melt and fade away
nothing matters
because 
if only for right now,
I know love, I know peace

Thanks boo

Thanks

It is never wise to complain
it is never wise to covet 
yet as human we tend to do 

They say we should learn from our mistakes
yet seldom we do

It is said that we should love as we want to be loved
but the human side of us rarely allows us to 

It is easier to point the finger
but never do we realize that all the other are pointing back

When it rains we complain too much
when the sun shines we complain too much
in drought we say too little
and in flood we still cry too little

Too much rain hence the flood yet too little sun light
too much sun light hence the drought n too little rain

Why can we not just give thanks for the blessings of life,
the birds and the trees, fresh air, dry cloths bed to sleep on
food to eat even if little.
we can see, we can hear, we can smell, taste even feel.
and yet we whine n complain more then most who can't

Today, stop, look around and Give thanks

Disturbia

U have my head in a daze
at times it feels like i am wrapped around a pole
going round and round with no hope of stopping

Never am i able to do right by you it seems
all the wrong words surface as i try to engage in conversation
confusion reeks it's ugly head on a regular basis

At times i end up exhausted as though i were a fool running a marathon in the desert
why can you not see how i feel
why can you not realize how much i care
is it too much to ask for you to open ur eyes

You have sight yet lack the ability to see
u can touch yet u can not feel 
never have one been able to disturb my peace of mind like u have
damn u am even walking around with my rain coat n boots in case it gets over bering
should the tears start flowing

disturbia damn leave me alone

Life

Life
Don’t you ever jus get tired of life and all it’s oxymoron’s
Of all the clichés and bullshits?
Poets are suppose to rhyme
Poems are to be read in a funny up n down tone at speeds so fast
They blow ur mind, yet ur suppose to feel inspired after.

I mean the bitter sweet taste of revenge 
Or the afterglow of a heated lover’s quarrel make sex session
These rainy summer days, that burn the shit outta you while making you really wet
Shouldn’t life be peachy cool while still having the trials that makes us strong?
The evils of the holy wars that taunts us everyday
Yet we are expected to be saints.

I wish I could sit n enjoy life in all it’s beauty
With all it’s splendor
With no troubles or worries
But I have learnt that in order to do so you have to be fucking rich 
Or fucking carefree.
Cause though they say the fruits of the world are ours to take 
You better have your God damn money to do so
You better be working your ass off with the false hope of being able to 
Chill, relax, carefree, sunny umbrella in ur margarita.

So while I sit here at my desk at work day dreaming about the shit that makes me miserable
I say to you am I the only one?

LOVE (haaa, now dat's a laff)

Love
Wat is love
For each it has it’s own meaning
For each it has it’s own means of expressions
For me,….. well I am still searching.

Because what I thought was love could surely not be
I was brought up to think n believe that love is a peaceful warm welcoming thing
It should be like, Cinderella, snow white and all dem other mother fuckers.
But instead what do I get,
I get heart ache, I get mistrust, I get deception.
I get pains that lasted for days, no make that weeks, shit months even.
I get teary eyes sleepless nites, songs reminding me of where I was or had been.
I get coffee breaks that reminds me of ur lattee, shit I get folks walking by with ur aroma linger after.

So I ask, what the hell is love.
A friend always say :every disappointment is for a good” but I say show me the good in all that 
& I will show you love 

If i was your man

Shower you with gifts when i can
treat you good cause i can
cuddle u at nites to show i am
feed u fruits cause u like.
tell you words u long to hear
rush home to you cause i care
take you out with me 
cause i can

All that i would do if i was your man!

Wait, i don't get this, something wrong,

This house looks familiar,
this odour, aroma makes me wonder
it's like in my own room 
my own home.
WAIT, now i get it, I am your man!

so now i wonder why we are so cold
why my side of the bed is so alone
how comes it feels so empty when i am home
why the laughter no longer fills my room.
i tried using a stuffed toy to hold your space
but from the looks of things you're gone for more than days

Then i sit n reminisce of the days when i wished
If i was your man!